"I'm at the mall on a diet pill!"

So much to catch up on. Saturday night we went to the Purple Ball, which was five parties in a row, raising money for the Arts Council. It was loads of fun! Then last night we went to Atlanta for the True Colors Tour 2008, featuring the B-52s and Cyndi Lauper. It, too, was loads of fun, and I can't wait to get back to Atlanta when we have a little more time to explore the city.

In fact, I've been having so much fun that people are beginning to question my fun authenticity. As an odd byproduct of the "you're so quiet" puzzle, I'm finding that the more demonstrative I am in having fun, the more people become concerned about my state of being. For instance, during the five parties on Saturday night, I was drinking, laughing and dancing, but found that people would take me aside or tap me on the shoulder and say, "Are you okay? You look so unhappy. Are you not having a good time?"

I guess when I'm just talking and being social, people think I'm quiet. And when I'm in the throws of a party, people think I'm miserable. Of course, it could have been the purple polyester jacket I was wearing all night. Michael says that my beady, rat-like eyes make people uncomfortable. Well, I can't help my beady, rat-like eyes. It's so unfair, because both my parents have lovely, open, Disney movie eyes. When I was in college, I could get away with putting a dot of white stage makeup in the corner of my eyes to make them look wider and more open. But, then, I could get away with a lot in college, like wearing Capezios, a beret and a denim duster...at the same time!

Or I wonder if after all those years in L.A., when I thought I was railing against the superficial culture, I accidentally became phony. And now non-L.A. people are picking up on my phoniness. But I don't think I'm being phony. I think I'm being as genuine as I know how to be. I mean, I'm trying really, really hard to pretend to be effortlessly genuine.

When you're dancing to "Rock Lobster" by the B-52s, and you've just jumped up from the crouching position you've gotten into during the "Down! Down! Down!" part of the song, and the little Brazilian woman next to you says, "Why you have no fun?" Well, gentle readers, something is amiss.