Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Moonlight and Magnolias

Okay, I have this problem. Maybe it's because I was in speech therapy for so many years, or maybe it's because I tend to be a little dramatic, but I'm a pretty good mimic when it comes to accents and voices. Though Michael would argue that my Tim Gunn impersonation still needs a lot of work. So what's the problem?

You know how Madonna moved to England and suddenly started speaking with a Michigan/British accent? And how people hate her for it? Well, when I'm around accents I tend to pick them up really quickly. I mean, really quickly. I can go from zero to Scarlett in about five seconds. This has been a benefit before, like when I lived in the Northeast and needed to hide my Oklahoma accent. To this day, traces of the clipped tones of New England mingle in with the surfer dude drawl of Southern California.

Now I'm in the South and I'm a big old mess. I am not mocking anyone with this little "talent" of mine. It just happens. Plus, I've read too much Tennessee Williams and watched too much Designing Women in my lifetime. Just the other day, I accidentally found myself offering someone a nickel to help bust up a chifferobe. Plus, I'm always shaking my fist at the dawn and vowing never to be hungry again. But then, I did that in Los Angeles, too.

I'm going to do my best to keep my accent in check while I'm here. I'll have to listen to "Valley Girl" on a loop while I sleep, so I don't lose my dulcet Valley Boy tones. Like, oh my God, y'all.

Damn it!


gary said...

It helps us local mountain folk understand y'all if you tawk like we do!

funkymono (aka Jeremy) said...

"I can go from zero to Scarlett in about five seconds."

Quote of the week.